Chapter 51: Pei Shuying's Confusion

That night, a gentle breeze stirred. The willows in the courtyard swayed softly in the wind, and the shadows of the trees danced on the windowpane.

Zheng Yanqing soaked in the hot spring, eyes closed, his mind replaying the day's events. Every smile and frown of Pei Shuying flickered persistently before him. Even after a long soak, the sensation of warmth and silkiness lingered, stirring restlessness in his heart.

He quite liked this aunt—cheerful yet delicate, gentle yet strong.

In his previous life, such a woman would have captivated him deeply. She lacked the innocence of a young girl but possessed the alluring charm of a mature woman, irresistibly enticing.

Whether it was Changsun Wugou, Pei Cuiyun, or even Duoduo, Yanqing liked them all.

However, most of the time, his affection for them resembled an elder’s tender care for the younger generation. Especially toward Changsun Wugou; the little girl’s requests were never denied by Zheng Yanqing.

Still, he preferred being with his aunt because they could share many conversations.

Yet, he also feared spending time with her, for Pei Shuying was clever, and he worried about inadvertently revealing some flaw.

During the day, Li Dewu’s provocation had enraged Zheng Yanqing.

He was not usually a violent man; although he had killed before, it had always been out of necessity. But today, for the first time in five years, he felt the urge to kill proactively. Much like five years ago, when Pei Wen’an bullied Duoduo, a brutal impulse had surged within him. He could not bear to see the women he cared for humiliated.

Even if Pei Shuying was his elder.

Especially when she looked pale, trembling and helpless—a sight that tore at his heart.

Five years ago, Duoduo had shown that same despair, and it was then that Zheng Yanqing killed for the first time in his life.

Now, he was determined to kill Li Dewu, all because of Li’s final, unacceptable words.

In his heart, Zheng Yanqing kept telling himself repeatedly: I am acting for my aunt, not out of love.

But this self-hypnosis seemed futile.

Would he have acted the same for anyone else? Probably not… Was it care or jealousy born of affection?

He suspected it was the latter.

“Young master, you’ve been in there all night. If you stay longer, you’ll spoil yourself!” Little Nian gently reminded from outside the door.

Zheng Yanqing responded with a nod, then rose from the spring, stepping out barefoot onto the floor. He dried himself, donned a loose, thin garment, his hair unbound, and emerged from the bathhouse.

“Young master, are you alright?” Little Nian asked with concern.

“I’m fine!” Zheng Yanqing nodded and slowly returned to his quarters.

Two young mastiffs, seemingly accustomed to the new home, lay curled on mats by the door, eyes closed in light slumber.

When Yanqing entered, neither dog opened its eyes, familiar with his footsteps. Had it been someone else, they would have been alert and watchful.

Leaning on the windowsill, Zheng Yanqing stared blankly at the ripples on the pond outside.

Meanwhile, under the same sky, inside a small building on the northern bank of the Luo River, Pei Shuying sat by the window. Her alabaster arm rested on the sill, her sensuous chin propped upon it, lost in a daze. A censer burned sweet mugwort inside the room. Early summer brought more mosquitoes; the fragrance was gentle and beneficial to the body but deadly to insects.

Pei Shuying wore a pale blue strapless garment beneath a sheer, nearly flesh-toned gauze dress. The dress hung loosely off one shoulder, exposing a smooth, full shoulder. Her slender legs, flawless and delicate, lay flat on the couch.

She held this posture for a long time, her gaze vacant, seemingly admiring the scenery but truly seeing nothing. She tried to calm herself, but the more she tried, the more chaotic her thoughts became.

How could she ignore Yanqing’s bodily reaction from earlier that day?

At first, she was angry. But when she collapsed into Yanqing’s arms, the anger soon vanished, replaced by a strange excitement that set her body aflame. The memory of brief, heated contact made her heart race. Her limbs curled instinctively into a beautiful arc.

Her breathing quickened sharply.

Her eyes became more unfocused in that instant…

A blush colored her delicate cheeks; her crimson lips parted to let out a soft moan.

But immediately after that moan, Pei Shuying snapped back to clarity. She hastily sat upright, her heart still pounding wildly.

Yanqing’s impertinence angered her.

Yet the ensuing thrill filled her with guilt.

She was Pei Cuiyun’s elder, and Yanqing was the man her niece favored. To be precise, Zheng Yanqing was more than a decade younger than Pei Shuying. Her attentions to him had always been those of an elder caring for a junior.

If Zheng Yanqing were not Pei Cuiyun’s rumored lover, Pei Shuying would have paid him no mind—whether man or ghost.

Yet fate had brought them into several intimate encounters, and her feelings began to shift.

Pei Shuying had always told herself that her affection for Yanqing was maternal care.

Years ago, shortly after her marriage, Li Dewu was exiled to Lingnan, leaving her childless. In the clan, her devotion to the younger generation was well known. Even when Yanqing held her asleep in the wooden cabin, she had no strong reactions. But in hindsight, the heartbeat that night… was it truly just care?

Thinking of this, Pei Shuying’s thoughts became tangled.

Instinctively, she knew she shouldn’t think such wild thoughts. She resolved to treat Yanqing with coldness next time they met.

But she could neither bear nor wish to do so.

That young man stirred feelings within her—feelings that captivated Pei Shuying, making it hard to break free.

So when she heard Yanqing had been ambushed and gravely wounded, she hurried to Yanshi to visit him. Until that day, she still believed her feelings were pure. But hearing Li Dewu’s venomous curses shook her resolve.

Her face had paled then; others might have thought it was from anger.

In truth, a sense of shame was at work. A delicate veil torn effortlessly by Li Dewu. She liked that young man—the one who might become her nephew.

But could she allow herself to like him?

She knew the answer clearly but felt reluctant to let go.

Taking a deep breath, she stood.

The thin gauze silently slid to the floor. Her rounded, full shoulders, a waist without a hint of excess flesh, and long, elegant legs—almost naked—stood by the window. The breeze brushed over her, as she sought to dispel the confusion and helplessness within.

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Zheng Yanqing dreamed a whole night of passionate, splendid visions…

Upon waking, he felt a chill in his trousers, sticky and damp, causing a sudden shock.

He had wet the bed.

A surge of shame overwhelmed him. As dawn broke, he hurriedly removed his undergarments and put on fresh ones.

Like a bashful boy, he sneaked out of his room, clutching the soiled clothes.

In a secluded spot, he burned them.

Then, a hollow emptiness settled in his heart.

In his past life, he was not a lecherous man. Especially in his official career, he aimed for progress and maintained strict discipline in such matters. Though he had indulged occasionally, he mostly upheld his principles.

Yet now, Zheng Yanqing felt guilty.

Because, in the dream, the one with whom he was so intimately entwined was none other than his caring, protective aunt. This made him nervous, and even in dreams, he felt a pang of guilt. Was there a forbidden preference buried deep within his bones?

In truth, it was hard to blame him.

His body had entered puberty prematurely, and four years of rigorous practice of guiding techniques had boosted his vitality beyond the norm. This caused his physical development to outpace peers, even those older than him.

Thus, the physiological changes were normal.

The real problem lay in that his object of desire was far too taboo.

Mentally, Zheng Yanqing was mature enough; but his body’s contradiction left him bewildered, making him feel like an ordinary adolescent struggling to face reality.

After dawn, Xu Shiji and Wang Zheng moved into the Zheng residence.

Since Yanqing no longer lived at the bamboo garden, their presence there was meaningless.

Originally, Zheng Shian intended for Mao Wang and his wife to move in as well.

But last time, Mao Wang had his leg broken in this mansion. Whether from psychological pressure or attachment to the bamboo garden, the couple refused to move and chose to stay there.

Zheng Shian did not press the matter.

The bamboo garden indeed needed caretakers.

Since Mao Wang’s family declined, he accepted the decision and told Yanqing.

But Yanqing’s mind was too troubled to pay attention.

Little Mao Nian went to the bamboo garden to persuade the couple but to no avail.

“Young master, my parents refuse to move here. What should I do?”

“Oh, then let them stay there…”

Zheng Yanqing replied absentmindedly, then buried himself in the study.

For the whole day, except when Xu Shiji arrived and he briefly appeared, he did not show himself.

Little Mao Nian wanted to ask about his unusual behavior but dared not.

After all, Yanqing was the master; she was only a maid. Even with the status Zheng Shian granted her, the hierarchy was clear.

The next day, Yanqing seemed better and was willing to leave the study to laugh and talk with Xu Shiji.

Seeing his recovery, everyone relaxed.

Yanqing temporarily forgot his worries and regained his vigor—training in martial arts and studying, everything seeming to return to normal.

For several days, Pei Shuying did not visit him.

Pei Xingyan came twice but bore a worried expression each time.

“The Xie family sent people!”

“Oh?”

“My father seems to have agreed... Mother, this means I’ll be beneath that Xie Ke kid, becoming his brother-in-law?”

Everyone seemed troubled by something.

Including Pei Xingyan.

Regardless of how trivial these worries seemed, they stirred deep feelings in Zheng Yanqing. Who said youth knows no sorrow? Just look at himself and Pei Xingyan—both furrowed brows and frowns. Yet, Xu Shiji had been quite cheerful lately, partly due to his successful admission to Luoyang County School, and partly because news had come that Zheng Renji had arranged a marriage between his daughter Zheng Lizhu and Xu Shiji. This alliance would strengthen Zheng Renji’s hold on Anyuantang with the Xu family’s resources.

This was a boon both for the Xu family and Zheng Renji.

Through this union, the Xu family elevated their standing, and Zheng Renji gained a powerful ally.

Xu Shiji had no objections.

He had met Zheng Lizhu—only six years old but already showing the promise of a beauty.

Hearing this, Xu Shiji was pleased, smiling broadly, even more earnest in his martial training.

Watching Xu Shiji gallop and wield his spear in the training ground, Zheng Yanqing and Pei Xingyan sat dumbfounded on the nearby steps.

“Young master! Young master!” Little Mao Nian hurried over, breathless. “A man has arrived, sent by General Changsun of Tongtuo Workshop. He requests your immediate presence.”

Zheng Yanqing was taken aback: Changsun Sheng has returned?

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I’ve been a bit sluggish these days, adjusting my state.

There will be another update tonight… but it’s been leaked, so please support with monthly tickets!

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