Chapter Fifty-Nine: Can We Not Kiss?

After Xue Tian’ai left Qin Mengxue’s office, she walked over to Yu Xiaoxiao’s desk, finding Yu Xiaoxiao once again engrossed in something.

This little girl couldn’t possibly be playing games again, could she? Suddenly feeling mischievous, Xue Tian’ai used ventriloquism to say, “Secretary Yu, President Qin is here!”

Startled, Yu Xiaoxiao shot up from her seat, ready to look for Qin Mengxue, only to see Xue Tian’ai standing in front of her desk, grinning wickedly.

“Secretary Yu, what are you doing?” Xue Tian’ai continued, speaking in ventriloquism.

“Assistant Xue? Is it you talking to me?” Yu Xiaoxiao was puzzled—the voice didn’t sound like Xue Tian’ai’s at all.

“No, didn’t you see my brother beside me?” Xue Tian’ai switched back to her own voice, gesturing to her right.

“There’s someone on your right?” Yu Xiaoxiao looked doubtfully at the spot Xue Tian’ai pointed to.

“Right here, isn’t there someone?” Xue Tian’ai pretended to pat the shoulder of an invisible person. “I told you not to come over and chat, see, the young lady says she can’t see you at all.”

“Secretary Yu, can’t you see me?” Xue Tian’ai returned to ventriloquism, his tone tinged with sadness.

“Xue... Assistant Xue, is there really someone there?” Yu Xiaoxiao saw no one, and her surprise gradually turned into a hint of fear.

“Secretary Yu, are you hallucinating? There’s clearly someone standing here, and he asked me to bring him upstairs to see you.” Xue Tian’ai feigned confusion, elbowing the air.

“Hey, buddy, do you actually know our Secretary Yu? She doesn’t seem to recognize you.”

“Yu Xiaoxiao, I didn’t expect you’d forget me so quickly.” Xue Tian’ai switched to ventriloquism, adopting a sinister, eerie tone.

“Hey, you haven’t answered me yet. If you don’t know Secretary Yu, I’ll kick you out.” Xue Tian’ai spoke impatiently to the empty space, as if someone really stood before him.

“There’s nothing more for you here, just die!” Xue Tian’ai’s ventriloquism snapped venomously.

Suddenly, the sound of bones grinding filled the air, Xue Tian’ai’s body contorted into a strange pose, and he collapsed onto the floor.

Seeing Xue Tian’ai twitch and fall, Yu Xiaoxiao trembled, her voice quivering, “What are you? I’m telling you, I’m not afraid of you!”

“I’m your ex-boyfriend—dumped by you, then committed suicide. Now I’ve come back for you.” Xue Tian’ai’s ventriloquism was executed with masterful skill; his words grew increasingly ethereal, yet the sound seemed to press closer to Yu Xiaoxiao.

“Ah! I don’t have an ex-boyfriend, you’ve got the wrong person, the wrong person!” Yu Xiaoxiao curled up in her chair, terrified, staring at the empty air.

“It doesn’t matter—I’m taking you away today... hahahaha!” The tone was wicked, domineering.

“No... I’m not tasty... Assistant Xue, wake up... someone help me!” Yu Xiaoxiao cried out, flustered.

“Even if you scream until your throat is raw, no one will come to save you today. Hahaha, little girl, just surrender to your ghostly master!” The voice was managed perfectly, now virtually looming over Yu Xiaoxiao.

“Ah!” Yu Xiaoxiao couldn’t take it anymore. Fear rooted her legs to her chair, unable to move, so she covered her cheeks for a shred of safety.

Xue Tian’ai sensed the prank had gone far enough; if he scared her any more, who knew what might happen. So he decided to stop.

“Yu Xiaoxiao, tell me your measurements and I’ll let you go~” Xue Tian’ai changed the tone of his ventriloquism to a teasing style.

“90, 61, 86…” Yu Xiaoxiao blurted out, her face pale, then hurriedly added, “Can you let Assistant Xue go too?”

“Wait—measurements?” Yu Xiaoxiao finally realized what she’d just answered, stunned. What ghost would ask someone for their measurements?

Xue Tian’ai, lying on the floor, felt a pang of guilt. He’d only meant to scare Yu Xiaoxiao, but now she was pleading for the “ghost” to spare him. Maybe he’d gone too far.

“Tsk tsk tsk, impressive—Secretary Yu’s measurements exceed the Asian standard! Nice figure, though you can’t tell through your clothes.” Xue Tian’ai got up from the floor, speaking in his own voice.

“Assistant Xue?!!” Because of the ghost’s question about measurements, Yu Xiaoxiao lowered her hands from her face, seeing Xue Tian’ai slowly stand up, grinning mischievously.

“What, Secretary Yu, don’t you recognize me?” Xue Tian’ai raised his sharp brows, then switched to ventriloquism: “Secretary Yu, I’m your ex-boyfriend~”

“Ah!” Yu Xiaoxiao finally understood—the ghostly voice had come from Xue Tian’ai! She’d been thoroughly tricked.

“Well, Secretary Yu, how was my performance?” Xue Tian’ai chuckled, stepping in front of Yu Xiaoxiao.

“Assistant Xue, you actually scared me!” Yu Xiaoxiao’s pale face regained a hint of color, and she boxed at Xue Tian’ai’s chest with her little fists.

Her punches were soft and weak—neither biting like Qin Mengxue’s pinching fingers nor punishing like Su Jiaqi’s lethal kicks. They felt more like playful banter between lovers.

Yu Xiaoxiao pounded Xue Tian’ai’s solid chest for a moment, which seemed to vent her anger. Quickly, she reverted to her curious self, asking, “Assistant Xue, what technique was that? It was amazing—you could act in a horror film all by yourself!”

Her tone, her expression, and the starry look in her eyes—she was the picture of an adoring fangirl…

“That’s ventriloquism,” Xue Tian’ai replied truthfully.

“Ventriloquism?” Yu Xiaoxiao stared at him in disbelief, her black grape-like eyes wide.

“Yes, ventriloquism.” Xue Tian’ai closed his mouth, leaned closer, and with the same eerie, raspy voice said, “Secretary Yu, I’m Xue Tian’ai~”

“Wow! It’s really you! You actually know how to do that!” Yu Xiaoxiao was as excited as if she’d discovered a new continent. She’d only ever seen ventriloquism performed on TV, never live in person.

“Of course!” Xue Tian’ai boasted, rubbing his nose with pride.

“I want to learn, I want to learn!” Yu Xiaoxiao’s eyes sparkled. She thought Xue Tian’ai was incredible—not only a master at poker, but also skilled in ventriloquism, and handsome to boot.

A talented, perfect gentleman.

Strictly speaking, ventriloquism is a vocal technique achieved through specialized training, harmonizing breath in the abdominal cavity to strike certain parts of the vocal cords, causing passive vibration and producing a unique sound.

In recent years, ventriloquism has become popular across various Western countries, a special performance art beloved by audiences of all ages. But its origins trace back to ancient China before spreading to ancient Egypt, a tradition over three thousand years old.

Yet ventriloquism is extraordinarily difficult to master—just the introductory exercises require about a year of persistent practice.

To truly grasp its essence and be called a ventriloquist demands relentless dedication and insight, which may take three to five years, or even up to a decade.

Without several years of hard work, it’s impossible to reach Xue Tian’ai’s level! Even he had trained from a young age, and thanks to his talent, he achieved such mastery.

“It’s not something you can learn easily,” he said.

“But you can do it…” Yu Xiaoxiao argued.

What kind of logic is that… Xue Tian’ai was speechless. Just because he could didn’t mean she could instantly learn it… “Ventriloquism takes years of diligent practice to master, not something you can pick up quickly.”

He decided to emphasize its difficulty, hoping Yu Xiaoxiao would give up: “Besides, learning it won’t help you play poker, so if I get the chance, I’ll teach you poker instead.”

“But you were playing poker just now! Aren’t you afraid President Qin will catch you?”

“I wasn’t—I was working properly, and you came to scare me.” Yu Xiaoxiao protested, as though her feelings had been deeply wounded.

“Oh? Really?”

“If I’m lying, I’m a puppy!” Yu Xiaoxiao pouted, then asked curiously, “Will you really teach me poker?”

“Of course! But there’s a condition!” Xue Tian’ai’s expression turned sly as he looked at Yu Xiaoxiao.

“What condition, what condition?” Yu Xiaoxiao’s eyes sparkled again.

“Hehe, just give me a kiss~” Xue Tian’ai grinned mischievously, looking at her with sincerity.

Stunned by his words, Yu Xiaoxiao froze for a moment, then blushed so deeply her face resembled a ripe peach, about to drip with juice.

“Assistant Xue, are you… are you serious?” Yu Xiaoxiao, face red, head lowered, fiddled nervously with her thumbs.

“Absolutely! A kiss from Secretary Yu, the lovely Miss Yu, is my greatest wish!” Xue Tian’ai seemed to enjoy teasing her.

“I… I…” Yu Xiaoxiao felt her cheeks burning hot enough to fry an egg. She summoned the courage to look up, but on seeing Xue Tian’ai’s chiseled, handsome face, she quickly looked down again, her heart pounding wildly like a deer.

Boys like Xue Tian’ai were simply lethal to girls like Yu Xiaoxiao—armor-piercing, spell-breaking, and devastating.

“Can it not be on the lips, just on the cheek…” After a while, Yu Xiaoxiao, head bowed, whispered shyly.

Hearing this, Xue Tian’ai was amused; he hadn’t expected her to take it so seriously. On reflection, he realized he’d gone a bit too far.

So Xue Tian’ai reached out, gently took Yu Xiaoxiao’s right hand—the shyest she’d ever been—and lifted it.

Caught off guard, Yu Xiaoxiao looked up in surprise, seeing Xue Tian’ai holding her hand and moving it toward his beautiful lips.

Then, like a dragonfly landing, Xue Tian’ai kissed the back of her hand lightly, released it, and said, “That’s enough. When I have time, I’ll definitely teach you poker.”

Yu Xiaoxiao’s already flushed face grew even hotter.

Wait, did Assistant Xue just… kiss me? Did I not need to kiss him after all? Is this really all? Just this?

For a moment, Yu Xiaoxiao was speechless, left blushing and staring at Xue Tian’ai, utterly at a loss.

“Hey, Secretary Yu, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Xue Tian’ai waved his hand in front of her dazed face.

“No… nothing, thank you, Assistant Xue!” Yu Xiaoxiao snapped back to reality, bowing to him.

“Hahaha, so formal! No need to thank me, besides, I’ve already received ample reward!” Xue Tian’ai laughed, then flicked Yu Xiaoxiao’s lowered forehead.

“Ow!” Surprised by the flick, Yu Xiaoxiao rubbed her head and looked at Xue Tian’ai. “Assistant Xue, that hurt!”

“Science proves that flicking the forehead helps intelligence grow!”

“Really?” Yu Xiaoxiao’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

Seeing her like this, Xue Tian’ai smiled helplessly. How could this little girl believe everything? She was so easy to fool—a classic sweet, naïve girl!

“Of course not! Well, I won’t disturb Miss Yu’s work any longer. I’ll go downstairs for a stroll. When I’m free, I’ll definitely teach you cards!” With that, Xue Tian’ai waved and headed toward the elevator.

“Ah… oh…” Yu Xiaoxiao watched his departing figure, her mind completely blank, replaying the moment Xue Tian’ai kissed her hand over and over.

“Ah, Assistant Xue really is so handsome!”