Hall of Longing

The summer rain fell with an urgent fury, each drop striking the bamboo leaves with a crackling sound. She stood beneath an oiled paper umbrella before a solitary grave. Even now, stains marred the tombstone, the inscription growing blurred with time, and the edges of the stone bore the marks of damage.

“Mingyue, was I truly wrong?”

Back then, when she first heard this question, she found it easy to answer. But now, she was no longer so certain. Was it wrong? Perhaps…

She walked away from the grave, her umbrella sheltering her, the sound of wind mingling with the rain, rustling the verdant bamboo leaves until both the forest and the tomb were left behind.

Ten years earlier.

By the banks of the Luoxi River, where willows trailed along the dike and fresh green foliage concealed much from view, there stood a riverside shop. Lovesick Pavilion had been left to Mingyue by her mother, but Mingyue had inherited none of her mother’s skill at crafting rouge. She could barely make ends meet, and this was a source of shame she seldom dared voice.

Tap, tap, tap… When her middle finger tapped the table for the hundredth time, Mingyue suddenly stopped, wiped the table with some care, and rose to step outside to the fastest-updating “Listening to the Tides Pavilion.” The sun was bright that day. Shielding her eyes, Mingyue looked up. There, in blue robes, Qin Shi stood on a wooden ladder, polishing the signboard, his figure slender and frail.

“It’s been half an hour already, and you’re still not finished?”

“Almost done,” he replied.

Mingyue frowned, uncertain if it was the stifling heat that made her temper flare. “How many times must I remind you? Address me as Owner! Did you lose your mind along with your memory?”

Qin Shi’s hand froze for an instant before continuing to polish. “Understood, Owner.”

So indifferent… Mingyue grumbled inwardly, gathered her skirts, and returned inside. She drank two cups of chilled tea before the heat finally abated. Grabbing the embroidered fan, she waved it vigorously, but as soon as she stopped, sweat trickled down her brow, leaving her uncomfortable. Another half hour passed without a single customer. Mingyue retreated to the inner room, lay down on the small couch by the window, and closed her eyes for a nap.

When Qin Shi entered carrying a wooden bucket, he found nothing but scattered boxes of rouge and teacups left about. Just as he tidied up, a knock sounded at the door.

“Excuse me, is anyone here?”

Qin Shi looked up to see a young woman at the door, though she wore the hairstyle of a married lady. Her attire marked her as someone from a prosperous family in Yinzhou.

“Madam, which item are you inquiring about?”

She steadied herself on the doorframe, her slender hands trembling, tears glimmering in her eyes. “Lovesick’s Bane,” she replied.

Qin Shi nodded. “Please wait here in the hall for a moment. I’ll fetch the Owner.”

He stepped into the inner room and found Mingyue sprawled on the couch, her collar loose to reveal much of her neck, beads of sweat collecting at her collarbone. Qin Shi paused, then announced, “Owner, there’s a customer.”

“Just take care of it yourself, can’t you?” Mingyue muttered, turning her back to him. In doing so, she made her clothing even more disheveled, revealing a patch of fair skin.

“Lovesick’s Bane.”

Mingyue’s eyes flew open. She sat up at once. “I’ll be right there.” As her feet touched the floor, something felt amiss. She glanced down, then at Qin Shi—then grabbed the porcelain pillow and hurled it at him.

He dodged, turning away without the slightest hesitation.

Mingyue cursed under her breath as she hurriedly gathered herself and went out to the hall, where a beautiful young woman sat quietly, her eyes lowered, hands absently caressing her teacup. Mingyue smoothed her hair and approached with small, careful steps.

“How may I serve you, Madam?”

The woman spoke softly, eyes downcast. “My husband and I have known each other since childhood. He played the zither, and I tuned it for him. He painted, and I ground ink for him. He always said I was like a child who would never grow up. My parents, fearing for his fragile health, tried to keep me from him. But I was only truly happy by his side. At last, my parents could not withstand my pleading and allowed me to marry him last year. Those first days of marriage were the happiest of my life.” Her brows arched slightly, a faint smile gracing her lips, but it vanished in an instant. “But early this spring, my husband’s illness worsened. Every doctor in Yinzhou was helpless. I thought of seeking help elsewhere, but he wished only to rest at our country villa.”

She paused, her voice turning heavy and hoarse, echoing like the toll of a temple bell, “In the end, we went to the villa.”

At this, she fell silent. Mingyue understood at once. The shop was hushed, not even the usual cicadas intruded.

Drip, drip. The tea rippled in its cup as Qin Shi approached, quietly replacing her tea with a fresh cup.

The young woman lifted her head, her radiant smile heartbreaking. “My mother wants me to remarry.”

“Could you return tomorrow, Madam?” Mingyue asked after a pause. “I need time to prepare. But let me warn you: Lovesick’s Bane requires your willing consent. Once the ritual is performed, you will almost never recall these feelings again. To you, he will be but a stranger, nothing more.”

The woman nodded. “So long as I remember him for now, that is enough.”

When she had seen off her only customer of late, Mingyue let out a long sigh of relief and stretched before heading back inside. “Qin Shi, close up for the day. Get your lantern ready.”

“Owner, we’re running out of rice,” Qin Shi replied.

Mingyue froze, turning her head with a creak. “What did you say?”

While gathering things from outside, he answered, “There’s only enough rice to last three more days… Owner.”

Mingyue felt as if the world had collapsed atop her. She clawed her way out of this sudden despair and muttered, “That lady today seemed well-off. Tomorrow, before we begin, let’s collect payment first.”

“Didn’t you say Lovesick’s Bane isn’t for profit, Owner?”

“These are special times.” Mingyue’s eyes sparkled with sudden inspiration, bright as the stars. “Yes, special times!” With that, her spirits lifted, and she strode into the inner room. As she lifted the beaded curtain, she called, “Go prepare hot water. I’m going to bathe!”

Sitting in the tub, she scooped water over her neck. She never understood how anyone could lose their appetite for love’s sake. Yet, she too had once known such a man—though since waking from her nightmare, she remembered nothing of those feelings. If not for the gossiping neighbor ladies, she would have thought him no different from any stranger she passed.

“Mingyue, you mustn’t risk your life for him anymore, or how could you face Aunt Yun, who raised you?” The neighbors’ righteous scolding still echoed in Mingyue’s mind. But now, that man who once obsessed her was nothing but a vague image.

She had wondered about this before but, finding no answers, she simply gave up. After all, he was no longer important to her.

The bathwater had grown cold. Mingyue stood, reaching for a robe from the screen. At that moment, Qin Shi entered with fresh hot water and stopped short as he stepped inside.

Mingyue was just as stunned. She moved to slap him, but he had already turned away, and she struck nothing but air.

Seeing that business awaited her the next day, Mingyue let it go. After drying her hair, she lay down and fell asleep, her damp hair spread on the bedside.

Outside, Qin Shi stood in the courtyard, holding a blue glass lantern. In the chilly moonlight, he appeared all the more fragile. The back garden of Lovesick Pavilion was small, with only four rooms built back when Mingyue’s mother was alive. Besides their sleeping chambers, there was only a storeroom and a kitchen. Rouge was made only on fair-weather days. After Aunt Yun passed, the place seemed even emptier.

When Qin Shi first arrived, Mingyue agonized for days before agreeing to let him use Aunt Yun’s old room, not without much grumbling. After two months, Qin Shi had begun to learn her ways—when to keep silent, when to obey. Yet his past remained a blank, and aside from the lantern in his hand, he possessed nothing. Even the name Qin Shi was given to him by Mingyue.