150. Determined Not to Be a Scumbag

From the waiting room to the platform, one had to go down stairs with no elevator in sight. Fang Chang'an had a bag strapped to his suitcase, and to avoid damaging the luggage, he had to carry it down carefully, which was quite a struggle.

Fang Changming hurried over, handed the food to his younger sister, and helped his older brother. The two brothers managed to move half of the luggage, and with Cong Rong also pitching in, they finally dragged the suitcase down after a great deal of effort.

They had been delayed for quite a while, but fortunately, they had arrived early. Since everyone else had to drag their luggage down the stairs as well, the delays were universal, and most seats were still empty when they boarded.

Unable to lift the large suitcase onto the rack, Fang Chang'an asked a middle-aged man in a nearby seat for help. Once the suitcase and both bags were stowed away, he kept the food and his schoolbag below for easy access.

This was an old-fashioned green-skinned train. The seats were arranged with three on one side and two on the other, facing each other in pairs, with a small table in between for trash. As this was the starting station, the carriage had just been cleaned and was relatively tidy.

The three of them sat on the two-seat side. Around the table, they occupied three seats; the fourth, an aisle seat, was taken by a girl who looked to be a high school student of sixteen or seventeen. She had boarded with two elders, tucked her belongings under the seat, and immediately put on headphones to listen to music.

Fang Changming and Fang Yanran watched the headphone cord with curiosity. Fang Chang'an, naturally, was above such childishness. With the three seats filled, he stood by the side, took a book titled *Night Voyage* from his bag, and began reading to kill time.

As the train slowly pulled away, Fang Changming and Fang Yanran were once again filled with wonder, pressing their faces against the window. Watching his wide-eyed younger siblings, Fang Chang'an sighed to himself: "Actually, I find it a bit novel too. After all, it's been a long time since I've sat in a hard seat on a train... and I don't miss it at all!"

Beyond the cramped space and lack of comfort, the biggest issue with hard seats was the standing-room tickets. By the time they reached Yunlong Station, there were few empty seats left. After two more stops, people with standing tickets began to appear, and by evening, the entire aisle was packed with people.

Having lost their initial excitement, Fang Yanran and Fang Changming asked Fang Chang'an to tell them stories. He began recounting the contents of *Night Voyage*, branching off into various historical anecdotes he knew. At first, only the two younger ones were listening, but soon, many people around them joined in. Some of the more worldly adults even chimed in with their own discussions, and within moments, no one remembered what the original topic was as they drifted into aimless chatter.

Outside, the summer heat was intense, but the train's air conditioning was so low that it became quite chilly. Fortunately, Fang Chang'an and his family were prepared and had put on their jackets; most experienced passengers had done the same, while those who hadn't were forced to endure.

By evening, they had prepared three bowls of instant noodles. Fang Chang'an shared one with his younger sister, adding some flatbread and sausages he had brought along.

After eating, the hours became even harder to endure. Between the physical exhaustion of being cramped in a narrow space and the sheer boredom, there was nothing to do but let time tick away, second by agonizing second.

Fang Chang'an yearned for a sleeper berth and decided to try to persuade his mother to buy one for the return trip, though he knew the chances were slim. He treated the thought as a way to quench his thirst with the mere sight of plums.

After ten o'clock, the carriage slowly quieted down. Fang Chang'an, having rested a bit in the evening, saw his mother growing drowsy and told her to sleep in his seat, promising to take over when she woke up, while he stood up to stretch his limbs.

The carriage lights had been dimmed, leaving only the faint illumination of the ceiling lamps. Most passengers were asleep in strange, contorted positions: some slumped against seatbacks, others against windows, some resting their heads on the laps of companions, while some sat in the aisle or even crawled under the seats to lie down.

Some passengers, unable to sleep or worried about their belongings, swapped places with those who didn't have seats, while others went to the vestibule to smoke or chat in low voices. In the next carriage, someone seemed to be shouting on a phone.

Fang Chang'an stretched his body and stood in the aisle, watching the occasional flickers of light in the pitch-black night outside. He used this rare moment of boredom to review his experiences since his rebirth. Halfway through, his thoughts began to wander.

Perhaps because of the accidental encounter earlier that day with someone who resembled "Eighty," Fang Chang'an found himself thinking mostly about romance.

In his previous life, his romantic history was peculiar. Before high school, he was as pure as water, with nothing more than a few timid, unrequited crushes and very little contact with girls. After entering university, he suddenly became a master of the game, drifting through various relationships. If one were to count, the number of failures was high, but because he cast his net so wide, he naturally reaped plenty of rewards.

Later, while working and starting his own business, he found that approach to be a waste of time. Spending money became the simplest and most efficient method. Of course, he never did anything illegal; it was just a matter of mutual consent—you were willing, he was comfortable, and he would buy you a bag as a gift afterward. Since he was busy, he preferred direct cash to save the trouble of choosing.

He had engaged in some relatively long-term relationships that could be called "dating," but the essence remained the same. In these relationships, he preferred realistic or materialistic girls, as he trusted this form of contract-like loyalty more than love.

It wasn't that he didn't believe in love; he just didn't believe it could happen to him.

This was the true reason he never dared to commit his heart. He always felt he would be punished for it. An extreme lack of security made him instinctively fear true love and marriage. Years before his rebirth, he had been mentally preparing himself: living out his life in solitude would be fine, or perhaps, once his career was more successful, he could marry a young, beautiful girl who preferred a stable life. They could build a family without love, managing it together. As long as he held the purse strings, he would hold the "love."

If something went wrong, he would just find someone else; after all, there was no shortage of candidates.

Regret was inevitable, but there was no turning back. He could choose to turn over a new leaf, hide his past, and seriously pursue a girl he truly cared for, but he couldn't lie to himself. He still feared the retribution that might come, and he was convinced it would arrive sooner or later.

Under these circumstances, if he were to fall in love, Fang Chang'an feared he would suffer a mental breakdown before his worries ever came to pass.

Yet, heaven had shown pity and given him a second chance. Fang Chang'an didn't know if he qualified as a "scumbag." This wasn't an attempt to excuse himself, but rather a lack of a precise definition. If being a scumbag meant playing with emotions, then he didn't think he qualified.

What he was certain of was that, when it came to the qualifications for love, he stood much lower than the average person, and therefore, he dared not hope for it.

Fang Chang'an didn't know how other scumbags felt, but he had truly regretted his past and wanted to change, much like the sentiment: "I didn't have a choice before, but now I want to be a good person."

Now that heaven had truly granted him a second chance, it was an incredibly lucky gift. Sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder if his memories of his past life were real, or if the twelve-year-old Fang Chang'an had simply had a dream before starting junior high, experiencing over a decade of the future in his sleep—like Zhuangzi dreaming of the butterfly.

But regardless, it was a blessing.

Fang Chang'an was not prepared to tread the same crooked path as before. His own experience had convinced him that being a scumbag had no future; living honestly and being devoted to one person was the right way.

As for Wang Ke and Shen Mo...

"I only said I'd be honest and devoted; I didn't say I'd be loyal to one person for a lifetime. Dating, breaking up, and then dating the next person—that's perfectly normal, isn't it?"

"But who should I date first?"

"How do I break up after?"

"What if she cries?"

Fang Chang'an fretted over this for a while, then boredly pulled out a five-jiao coin.

"Heads for Shen Mo, tails for Wang Ke. Because Shen Mo came first... wait, that doesn't seem right. Since the rebirth, Wang Ke came first... but in my previous life, Shen Mo was my first crush..."

After agonizing for a while longer, he decided to go by age. Wang Ke was older: heads for Wang Ke, tails for Shen Mo.

With a decision made, he gently tossed the coin and caught it. He opened his palm. Under the light, the national emblem gleamed.

"Was that heads or tails?"

Fang Chang'an flipped it over to check. The other side showed the denomination. He finally confirmed it was tails—which meant... Shen Mo first?

He wasn't tossing the coin to leave it to fate; that would be irresponsible to himself, Wang Ke, and Shen Mo. He just wanted to test a saying he had heard in his past life: *When you see the result, you will understand your own choice.*

Fang Chang'an understood a little bit now, because he really wanted to toss it again.

"So I chose Wang Ke?"

He muttered to himself and tossed the coin again. This time, heaven was kind, and it landed on heads. He had chosen Wang Ke.

"But why do I still feel so unwilling?"

The coin was tossed silently again, and it fell.

Tails.

Tossed again, fell.

Tails.

Tossed again, fell.

Tails.

"Hey, you're trying to pick a fight with me, aren't you?"

Fang Chang'an tossed it one more time and finally saw heads, then tossed it again.

Heads.

Tails.

Tails.

Heads.

Heads.

Heads...

Fang Chang'an tossed it for a long time without finding the answer in his heart. The coin slipped and fell. It was five jiao! He scrambled to the floor to find it, reaching under the seat until his hand brushed against the backside of the man sitting there, finally fishing out the coin.

He wiped the coin clean with the hem of his shirt and put it back in his pocket. This time, Fang Chang'an finally found his answer: he couldn't bear to let go of either!

"So what should I do?"

Fang Chang'an continued to stare blankly at the night outside the window, and he actually came up with an idea: "Since I can break up and date someone else, it's perfectly reasonable to break up and get back together, right?"

"Junior high is too young. Wang Ke is older than Shen Mo, so I'll date Wang Ke in high school, break up after the college entrance exam, and date Shen Mo in university... Wait, there's too little you can do in high school; three years is only worth one year of college..."

"After freshman year, I'll break up with Shen Mo and get back together with Wang Ke. After that... no, wait, after sophomore year, break up with Wang Ke and get back together with Shen Mo..."

"Is a year too long? What if they get snatched up by someone else in the meantime?"

"How about rotating every semester? That doesn't seem safe either. How about... every month?"

"Or just alternate by odd and even days... Uh, that shouldn't count as being a scumbag, right?"

"It shouldn't... If I could, I'd be willing to go through the process of breaking up and getting back together every single time, ensuring there's no problem legally or morally... I don't mind the trouble..."

"They wouldn't beat me to death, would they?"

"Hmm... That's still better than being exhausted to death... Forget it, I'd rather be exhausted to death..."

Fang Chang'an daydreamed aimlessly, catching a few winks while leaning against his seat. Near five o'clock, Cong Rong woke up and urged him to go to his seat to sleep. Fang Chang'an went to the restroom first to avoid the morning queue.

He had stayed up almost all night, exhausted and sleepy, and no longer cared about the hard seat. He leaned against the backrest and fell into a deep sleep. He was only woken up the next day when Fang Yanran needed to get out.

Outside the window, it was already bright. Fang Changming was awake too, feeling stiff all over, and was stretching his limbs in the aisle. He let his mother sleep in his seat. Cong Rong told him to keep sleeping, but Fang Changming was so uncomfortable he refused. Cong Rong ate some snacks and then leaned against the window to catch up on sleep.

After passing Hangzhou in the morning, the train became much emptier, and few people got on. Fang Changming and Fang Yanran grew spirited again, watching the scenery, especially the large and small mountains that flashed past the window—a sight that thrilled the two children who had grown up on the plains.

"Big Brother, how much longer until we arrive?"

"Mom, can we make it in two hours?"

"We're almost at Lishui, is that the next stop?"

After passing Jinhua, the carriage was more than half empty. Fang Chang'an found an empty seat to lie down and catch up on sleep. Fang Changming and Fang Yanran were excited, expectant, and bored; even though they knew their brother needed to sleep, they couldn't help but call him every time they thought a station was approaching, making Fang Chang'an want to throw them out the window.

The train had to yield to other traffic along the way, leading to an unsurprising delay. They didn't arrive until two in the afternoon. As the train slowly decelerated, even Cong Rong couldn't help but start packing the luggage. They waited for nearly another half hour before the train finally stopped, bringing the four of them's twenty-plus-hour journey in hard seats to an end.

When his feet finally touched the ground, Fang Chang'an deeply felt the power and security behind the phrase "having one's feet on solid ground." It felt wonderful.

The next moment, he realized he was over two thousand miles away from home in Wenzhou—that Wenzhou where the leather factory went bankrupt and the boss ran off with his sister-in-law... Finding a shoe factory shouldn't be too hard, right?