Chapter 45: Kuroko Speaks

It was 11:00 PM by the time they finished hot pot and returned to the club.

Going to sleep was out of the question. Lin Ruo eagerly started his livestream; today was a wonderful day for settling scores.

Back when he had no achievements, the Royal Never Give Up fandom hounded him with insults, and even clearlove looked down on him in every possible way.

Now that they had defeated WE and secured two consecutive MVPs, the self-respecting haters had all crawled back into the woodwork, so he naturally intended to seize the momentum and rub it in their faces.

He opened his livestream, waved his hand grandly, and set a conspicuous title in the upper right corner:

*“Come at me, haters!”*

As the viewers trickled into the livestream channel, none of them failed to change their expressions at the sight of that title.

[I’m not a hater, I’m the streamer’s loyal fan.]

“You don’t even have a fan badge, who the hell are you if you aren't a hater?” Lin Ruo asked, furious.

Who are you trying to fool with a Level 1 account?

[Streamer, could you clarify the definition of a hater? I’m afraid I might not make the cut.]

“Go play in traffic, you want me to clarify the definition for you? Don’t you have any self-awareness about whether you’re a hater or not?”

[Sorry, streamer, I only hate champions. People with no achievements aren't even worthy of my hatred.]

“Take a left out the door, thanks. Remember to set your alarm and come back in April.”

After chatting breezily with the netizens for a while, Lin Ruo realized that almost all of them were trolls just there for a laugh.

The popularity of the livestream was soaring; after all, there weren't many people left who could bring them joy in the dead of night.

Professional players who could chat and blow smoke with netizens all day long were even rarer.

Finding it pointless after a while, Lin Ruo opened the League of Legends Baidu Bar on his computer. Nothing was happier than browsing his own glorious resume accompanied by a bunch of internet trolls.

“In light of our outstanding performance in today’s match, I’ve decided to treat my fans by reviewing the post-match rating thread on Baidu Bar together with you all. Let’s see how uniquely creative our comrades on the Bar are when it comes to praising people. Pay attention and learn well.”

The EDG versus WE post-match rating thread was pinned right at the top, and Lin Ruo clicked right into it.

[I’ll post the players, you give the ratings.]

The comment count had reached tens of thousands, and the discussion was fiercely active.

Taking the brunt of it was WE's top laner 957, and the comments underneath immediately made Lin Ruo burst out laughing.

It was hard to imagine that the viewers on Baidu Bar were actual human beings; how could each and every one of them speak with such ethereal and unrestrained flair?

[The most humiliating episode of Brother Leg's professional career.]

[There is nothing more painful than watching a blue-collar top laner pick Jayce right in front of you and still winning the game.]

[Whether Brother Leg was acting like a human being in these two games is up for debate, but the opponents definitely didn't treat Brother Leg like a human.]

***

[Jungler: Condi]

[My name is Condi. In the first two minutes, I ganked the enemy Jayce twice and thought we could easily win the game, only to find out by the end that the enemy top laner playing Jayce was just doing blue-collar grunt work. Who can you even reason with about this?]

[Always obsessing over forcing plays in the top lane—is the enemy top lane even looking like someone who can carry?]

Lin Ruo found it hard to comment on the WE players, so he scrolled past them and began to seriously appreciate the ratings for his own team's players.

[Top Laner: Mouse]

[The only two purposes of your existence: First, to humiliate 957's self-esteem; second, to increase the game's difficulty and let Lin Ruo in the bot lane have a blast.]

[As expected of the Light of Top Lane. After finishing today's match, I am willing to crown you the undisputed number one domestic blue-collar top laner. Name me another person who can play Jayce and sacrifice everything for the team just to soak damage.]

[I completely lost it when I saw your 30% damage-taken share in the post-match stats. An unprecedented blue-collar Jayce.]

[Please play blue-collar Teemo next game, thanks. I want to see Teemo getting beaten up on stage.]

[Condi's toy, but getting ganked was totally useless.]

“That’s definitely malicious framing! What blue-collar Jayce? My damage output in that last teamfight was astronomical, alright?”

Mouse, who happened to walk by, was left dumbfounded and immediately offered a defense for himself.

However, the viewers in the livestream weren't buying it at all, spamming the chat endlessly with jokes about the blue-collar Jayce.

“It’s fine. Bad publicity is still publicity, that’s a good thing,” Lin Ruo said with a smile as he nudged Mouse away.

Scrolling down, next up was the jungle position.

[Jungler: 爱萝莉 (Ai Luoli)]

[You’re even better at acting like a lapdog than Clearlove. Looking at the bot lane makes your heart ache if you glance at it even once, while looking at the top lane makes you sick to your stomach if you look at it an extra time.]

[You only warded for the top lane once the whole game, how come Mouse didn't smash a chair over your head after the match?]

[Malicious framing! Can the top lane carry even if you help them? This guy simply understands the true philosophy of winning games.]

[The great player Clearlove left behind a seven-character mantra before his departure: When in doubt, help the bot lane.]

[Comrade Condi, I can do nothing at all; I just need to hang around the bot lane like a wooden stake. But you had so many things to do—ganking, taking dragons, pushing towers. It must have been so painful not being able to win even after all that.]

[Remember the name Ai Luoli: ruthless with actions, sparing with words. The bot lane is my daddy, listen to big brother's commands, and victory is guaranteed.]

[If the bot lane calls me, I go. Once I go, we win the game. Put me in coach, I can actually do it.]

[A new generation of fasting jungler, meaning he doesn't farm the jungle and just strolls around the bot lane indefinitely.]

Ai Luoli, who was currently in a solo queue match, glanced briefly at his rating thread and snorted with disdain.

And here he thought Baidu Bar's aggressiveness was something fierce; seeing it now, they were nothing special.

There was nothing wrong with it, anyway. I am indeed this kind of person, what are you gonna do about it?

***

Ai Luoli had achieved an incomparably clear level of self-awareness.

I just fucking love hanging out and getting carried by the bot lane, anyone who refuses to latch onto a daddy is a moron.

So what if I sacrifice a few jungle camps for the ultimate daddy? It's only human nature.

[Mid Laner: Scout]

[That god-tier play in the mid lane—wait, it was called out by Lin Ruo? Never mind, then you had nothing to do with it.]

[The only highlight of the entire match. Post-match interview: "It wasn't my doing, the AD told me to do it."]

[When are you going to play a utility champion for once, just to let me witness the charm of a protect-the-carry composition?]

[As a Korean import, openly clinging to the bot lane's coattails, do you live up to that high salary of yours? Have some self-awareness and immediately hand half of it over to Brother Lin as a sign of filial piety.]

Lin Ruo sat in his chair, laughing so hard he rocked back and forth, before finally scrolling down to his own thread.

[AD Carry: Lin Ruo]

[Clearlove, don't come back, the club is doing fine. Your successor's performance is quite good, your teammates are very useful, and your shotcalling has been usurped by me. Just retire on the spot, I'll reserve those pension insurance shares for you.]

[Acting as the shotcaller while also carrying, playing the role of both father and mother—you did everything, didn't you?]

[I will prove to the world who the true number one AD is. (I've already started laughing).]

[If you hadn't gone up there to talk trash after the match today, I would have felt miserable all afternoon.]

[Fake fan, the match was played at night.]

[Your skill is great, but your bearing is a bit lacking. Playing so well today and then getting up on stage to flex like a madman, do you want to get yourself killed?]

[Trying to sabotage RNG, aren't you? As soon as you leave, you pop off.]

[Already starting to look forward to the showdown between RNG's former AD and current AD.]

[As you know with RNG, making this decision was very difficult. Next season, I will take my talents to EDG. For no particular reason, except that EDG won't fire me just because I play other games.]

After reading all the ratings, Lin Ruo straightened up and commented, “Actually, it’s nothing special. When the streamer has time, I’ll let you all experience what a real professional review is like.”

“You ask me when I’ll have time? Once I retire, I’ll have time. While still active, you can’t just casually roast other professional players like that.”

“When am I retiring?” Lin Ruo fell into deep thought, then X'd out of the livestream.

Retiring was out of the question, so what the hell was there to review?

The Chinese New Year was right around the corner, Lin Ruo suddenly remembered as he slumped limply in his chair.

As an orphan, should he go sponge off someone else's New Year...