Chapter 24: The Virile Carefree Pill

The next day.

As dawn broke, Naruto, who had just turned eighteen minus seventy-six months, arrived at the Third Training Ground early. Seeing that the other two were just as bleary-eyed as he was, Naruto felt a bit better. Teacher Kakashi was certainly quite the handful. Is this what it means to be a ninja? With a premonition that his ninja career would not be a peaceful one, Naruto began, "Let's hear it. What kind of intelligence have you gathered?"

Sakura, who was in charge of information gathering, answered first: "I heard that Teacher Kakashi is a genius who became a Jonin at the age of twelve."

A twelve-year-old Jonin? Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look, both stunned. Is he that strong? Twelve was only the age of graduation from the Ninja Academy.

"Anything else?"

"I heard he was dubbed the Copy Ninja of Konoha."

A technician? Is that the kind of technician I’m thinking of? Suppressing the urge to make a wisecrack, Naruto asked again, "Anything else? Spit it all out at once."

"That’s it."

"Just that? What about his strength? His techniques?"

"Those are hard to come by."

Hmm? Naruto was taken aback for a moment, then nodded slowly. That was true. For a ninja, or even a ninja village, the intelligence regarding the ninja themselves was the most guarded secret. If an enemy knows your trump cards, you lose your threat and become a target for counter-research, unless your strength is so overwhelming that you have nothing to fear. But when an enemy is ignorant of your capabilities, it easily leads to classic scenarios: the "first-encounter kill." With his Flying Thunder God Technique, Naruto could achieve this with ease.

Seeing that Sakura looked dejected and seemed frightened, Naruto fell silent for a moment before saying in a relaxed tone, "What’s this? Are you scared already? Not to mention that we are definitely going to defeat Teacher Kakashi, I even prepared some good stuff for you."

"Tch, who’s scared?" Sasuke was the first to object; even if he were, he would never admit to being a coward, let alone when he wasn't.

"What good stuff?" Sakura’s interest was piqued.

Naruto took out the prepared pills—two red and two blue, each about a centimeter in diameter—and divided them equally between the two. "Here, for you."

"Are these Xiaoyao Pills? The legendary medicine that can bring back the dead and regrow flesh and bone as long as there is a breath left?" Sakura exclaimed in pleasant surprise. "Where did you get these, Naruto?"

Naruto didn’t answer, only smiling. Would he tell them that the divine doctor Xiong Fengshan who arrived in the village six months ago was actually his shadow clone? No! Would he tell them that these pills, produced by the "Old Xiong Formula," were actually just recovery items from his system store? No! Would he tell them that an item priced at 1,000 ryo in the store was sold for 20,000 ryo after a bit of slick talking by the "old doctor" Xiong Fengshan? No! Keep quiet and... just act like a master.

"My mother wanted to buy me two as a graduation gift, but even after fighting for them at the divine doctor’s place for several days, I couldn't get any." Sakura’s opinion of Naruto changed significantly. She looked at him with gratitude and said, "Thank you, Naruto."

"Thanks, Naruto," Sasuke added, his tone quite solemn.

"The red ones replenish health, the blue ones replenish chakra. Don't mix them up."

"Understood," they replied in unison.

Seeing them treasure the pills, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. With these, the team should be able to handle this assessment. As for the effects, they weren't as exaggerated as Sakura claimed. They did restore health and chakra quickly, along with minor injuries, but there was a cap: ten thousand points for both. The red pills were the most effective, as most ninjas didn't have massive health pools anyway. One pill could bring someone back to full health even if they were on the brink of death a second ago—a true "my life is in my hands, not the heavens!" The blue pills were slightly less impressive, especially to someone like Naruto, whose chakra reserves were in the tens of millions—ten thousand was a drop in the ocean. But for Chunin or Genin like Sasuke and Sakura, who generally had fewer than ten thousand points, they were indeed divine medicine.

The gift of the pills opened the floodgates for conversation, and the three chatted while they waited. They waited until 6:00 AM.

"It’s been an hour! Why hasn't that King of Tardiness, Teacher Kakashi, arrived yet?" After getting closer, even Sakura, who usually acted demure in front of Sasuke, couldn't help but complain.

"Maybe he ran into a black cat crossing his path and lost his way in life," Naruto suggested.

Sakura looked at him in disbelief. "What kind of reason is that?"

After saying this, Naruto activated his full-range sensory perception. He was startled by what he found: the chakra specifically marked as "Teacher Kakashi" was hiding in a nearby tree, secretly peeping at them. How perverted. Naruto wanted to expose this boring trick right then and there, but he glanced at his system panel and a wicked smile touched his lips.

"Ouch!" he suddenly cried out.

"What's wrong?"

"Stomachache. Must have eaten something bad yesterday." Naruto stood up, clutching his stomach, and ran toward the distance. "I’m going to the restroom. You guys wait for me."

Sasuke and Sakura: -_-||

Naruto ran into the bushes directly beneath the tree where Kakashi was hiding. Under the gaze of the peeping tom, he transformed into Kakashi’s likeness. Although he didn't know what was behind the mask or the eye cover, this perfect-level transformation was so convincing that even if the real Kakashi jumped down, he would have to question his own existence and admit, "Yes, this is my long-lost brother."

"Ahem." Naruto coughed to adjust his voice, narrowing his eyes into the same dull, fish-like gaze. Feeling satisfied, he leapt twice and appeared before Sasuke and Sakura.

"Teacher Kakashi, you're too late!" Sakura complained the moment he arrived.

"I encountered a black cat on my way here and lost my way in life. So, I’m a bit late. My apologies."

Sakura: Huh? Is that actually a valid reason?

"Tch." Sasuke expressed his dissatisfaction as well.

Behind the mask, Naruto wore a radiant smile. Neither of them suspected a thing. This was all because he hadn't pulled a stunt like this since he pretended to be the Hokage at age three. No priors, no suspicion. He didn't know what the secretly observing Kakashi was thinking, but Naruto was having a great time. If Kakashi didn't come out soon, he was going to keep playing the part.

"Where's Naruto? Where did he go?" 'Kakashi' asked with a mock-serious tone.

"He ate something bad last night and has an upset stomach."

"In that case, don't worry about him. You two can start the mission."

"Eh?" Sakura was stunned; this wasn't what they had expected from their discussion last night. "Teacher, shouldn't we wait for Naruto?"

"Do you think there’s only one task today? No, this is a continuous mission. If it isn't completed by the end of the day, the entire team is disqualified! Why do you think I told you to come here so early?" Naruto mimicked Kakashi’s tone; although he hadn't known him long, neither had Sakura or Sasuke.

"What?" they both exclaimed.

"And you still showed up so late," Sakura muttered.

"What did you say?" 'Kakashi' shot a sword-like glare at her.

Sakura immediately clarified, "Nothing, Teacher Kakashi. We fully agree."

"Then get moving. First task: run 500 laps around the village in 3 hours."

"500 laps?" Sakura felt a sense of despair. Was that even a number she could complete?

"Handstand running!" 'Kakashi' emphasized.

Even Sasuke couldn't stay composed. "Handstands?"