Chapter 25: I Would Rather Live with the Pain

"I am sorry, benefactor. Master Lingyu is occupied with urgent matters. Please come back another day." The young Taoist acolyte returned, bearing Zhang Lingyu's refusal.

"..."

"Is that so? Then I shall not disturb him. Thank you, little Daoist."

Upon hearing this, Xia He was silent for two seconds. She nodded gently, said no more, and turned to leave. Yet, the moment she turned away, a bitter smile touched her lips. Ripples stirred in her eyes, though it seemed she was not entirely surprised.

"Heh. If he had wanted to see me, he wouldn't have left without a word back then. What a fool. And it's not like I ever blamed him..." She whispered to herself, then couldn't help but mock her own thoughts. "Please, why am I here wallowing in self-pity? What 'blame' or 'no blame'? Or perhaps... perhaps it is he who blames me?"

Though she did not know much about Taoist cultivation, during the month they had spent together, Xia He had heard that those in the Taoist sects placed great importance on the "Dao Heart" and the "purity of a virgin."

Thinking of it this way, hadn't that accident back then ruined Zhang Lingyu's Dao Heart and broken his virginity? Even though she had thought of it as a mutual decision, he might not have seen it that way at all. Regardless of the truth, things had reached this point, and Xia He could only use such reasons to hypnotize herself. After all, she could never bring herself to resent this man who had suddenly burst into her life and just as suddenly vanished.

"If it weren't for him, I don't know what I would have become by now. Heh..."

Back then, he hadn't told her the name of the mountain sect where he cultivated. Lacking connections in the world of the gifted, she had spent a year drifting and inquiring before finally finding out. It wasn't as if she truly intended to pester him; in her heart, she only wanted a definitive answer.

"Well, that's that, Zhang Lingyu. You can rest easy now. I have... completely given up. I won't bother you again..."

As she spoke, Xia He offered a faint smile and shook her head, wiping away a glimmer of moisture in her eyes. She then shed the disguise she had maintained for a year.

*Whoosh.*

She tossed her sunglasses, mask, hat, and overcoat into a trash can, revealing her alluring figure and foxy, enchanting features. She ruffled her hair to give it volume, then turned back to wave toward the direction of the Tianshi Mansion.

"I didn't get to say goodbye properly last time, so I'll say it now. Goodbye, Zhang Lingyu."

With a charming smile, she walked away.

After descending Mount Longhu, Xia He hailed a taxi. She had no desire to wander anywhere else and headed straight for the nearest train station, buying a ticket for the next departing train.

Once aboard, she ignored the heated gazes of those around her and quickly sat in her seat. She was lucky enough to get a window seat. As the train started moving, she propped her head up, squinting out the window. However, it was clear that no matter how carefree she tried to appear, once things truly settled down, heartache and disappointment welled up within her. Her expression turned melancholic, and her heart felt adrift.

At the same time, seeing such a stunning, celebrity-like beauty secretly grieving, the men around her felt an opportunity had arisen. They grew restless and rose from their seats in unison.

But just then—

*Tap, tap, tap!*

A clear sound of footsteps suddenly echoed through the carriage, drilling into everyone's ears. It caused their already racing hearts to slow down abruptly, and their excited expressions to calm into composure.

*Thump! Thump! Thump!*

They all sat back down one after another.

The next moment—

"Hmm?"

Seeming to sense something was amiss, Xia He arched an eyebrow and turned sharply. She saw a kind-faced middle-aged woman standing beside her, smiling at her with a gentle expression.

"Young lady, you are a gifted one, aren't you?" the woman asked, her eyes crinkling with a smile.

"I'm in a bad mood and don't want to make small talk. There are many gifted people in this world, and most of them aren't of the same kind," Xia He retorted, casting her a glance before turning her head back, clearly uninterested in engaging.

"Heh, child, you are in great pain right now, aren't you..."

Facing her coldness, the woman was not the least bit annoyed. She simply smiled and sat in the empty seat beside her.

"I know of you. You can stir up desire in others, so surely you must believe that there are those who can soothe one's pain, yes?"

As she spoke, the woman quietly released a trace of soothing *Qi*, which washed over Xia He, easing the melancholy in her heart.

"Do you know? All emotions are but reflections in a mirror or flowers in the water. All pain will be smoothed away by time. Instead of agonizing over gains and losses, why not let me help you cross this meaningless process?"

The woman then reached out to touch Xia He's shoulder. Though Xia He looked hesitant, as the woman's *Qi* flowed into her, she quickly fell into a state of "confusion."

"Heh..."

Seeing this, the woman smiled softly. This was her ability: she could soothe and diminish the pain in a person's heart, making them calm, but also making them weak... and easy to control.

However, what she did not expect was—

"Your ability is to strip away all emotional perception, isn't it?"

Soon, Xia He spoke again, having already broken free from the influence of the woman's power.

"Oh?"

The woman's eyes narrowed. She had assumed that dealing with such a young girl would be effortless, but she had not anticipated such formidable willpower. She had no way of knowing that the moment Xia He sensed something was wrong, she had begun reciting the "Heart-Cleansing Incantation" in her mind, using the powerful effect of the Taoist mantra to dispel the influence so quickly.

"No, child, I only soothe human pain so that you may be forever happy and at peace..." The woman was not giving up, continuing to try to cajole her with a smile.

"Heh, how could there possibly be a method that only numbs negative emotions?" Xia He sneered. "In your *Qi*, I only sense a hollow silence. Joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are codependent. Rather than losing all sensation to escape, I would rather coexist with my pain."

"..."

Hearing these words, the woman finally froze, then lowered her head in silence. She admitted she had underestimated this girl. After a moment of contemplation, she seemed to have made a decision. She introduced herself: "Hello, my name is Dou Mei. I wonder... have you ever heard of 'Quanxing'?"

She continued, "Regardless of what you think of my abilities, that is irrelevant. At least one thing I saw correctly: you have always lived in pain, haven't you? We in 'Quanxing' are a group that seeks to break free from pain and embrace true freedom. 'Quanxing' preserves the true nature, not allowing external things to weigh down the form. Join us, and you can truly do as you please, living free and uninhibited..."

"Is that so?" Xia He curled her lip at this. "'Quanxing' preserves the true nature and does as it pleases? Heh, you certainly dare to say it... Is there anywhere in this world where one can truly be oneself?"

"There is!"

To the surprise of both Xia He and Dou Mei, the moment she finished speaking, a magnetic male voice cut in abruptly, transmitted via *Qi*.

"But it is not in 'Quanxing.' What they call freedom... is nothing more than being a rat scurrying across the street!"

Both women turned toward the sound and were stunned to see a cold-looking man with slicked-back hair and glasses standing behind them, accompanied by an eleven or twelve-year-old girl who looked like a porcelain doll, carrying a small cloth bag.

"Hello. You are Xia He, right? I am Xiao Zizai. I have been entrusted by someone to offer you a choice..."

"A chance at true freedom!"